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Leadership in Marriage


Chapter one - Authority of Christ.








What makes a good leader?   We can debate many theories, but it helps to look at the lives of great leaders from history to find clues of their leadership techniques. And there is no greater example that we can learn from than that of Jesus Christ, God the Son, King of Kings, Lord of Lords.


1Ti 6:15  Which in his times he shall shew, who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings, and Lord of lords;

Rev 17:14


He is the perfect example of a leader, and from His life we can learn how He lead, and how we should lead.  Fortunately for us we have ample evidence and testimony from His life to guide us today. From Him we learn that a person's right to lead comes from the authority that has been given to Him.  It wasn't self bestowed, and it did not come from any charisma, wealth, beauty, or power that He possessed.


  • Charisma


As for charisma, we see that He did not have the type of charisma that would sway the masses, for Christ was rejected by many of the people of His own country.


Isa 53:3  He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Joh 6:2  And a great multitude followed him, because they saw his miracles which he did on them that were diseased.

Joh 5:41  I receive not honour from men.

Jn 6:26, Mt 8:34, Mt 13:57


  • Christ as a man, had little or no money of His own.


2Cor 8:9  For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.

Mat 8:20  And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.


  • He had no beauty.


Isa 53:2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.


  • He was not self promoting.


Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

2 Cor 10:1, Phi 2:7,8


  • He had no power given to Him by the religious or secular powers of His day.


Luk 20:2 And spake unto him, saying, Tell us, by what authority doest thou these things? or who is he that gave thee this authority?

Luk 23:10  And the chief priests and scribes stood and vehemently accused him.


Far from receiving any power or authority from the leaders of His time, He was mocked, persecuted, scorned, by both the religious and secular leaders all of His life.


  • He did not claim any self granted authority of His own.


Jn 5:19 Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.

Jn 5:30 I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.


The husband cannot grant himself the position of head of the home, neither can the wife give herself that authority. But without some form of leadership the family will be adrift. Democracy cannot work, any disagreement would result in two different votes, resulting in a stalemate and no further progress.


                                Leadership is given, not earned.


Leadership can only be given by those who have the right or the authority to give it, and it can be removed at their pleasure. The President Of the United States does not need any training to hold his office, which includes being the commander of all the military of the United States.  In fact he doesn't even have to have served in the military. He is given his office by people electing him to that office, which is sometimes no more than a popularity contest.  On the other hand a person who wants to be an officer in the military, does require extensive training, and then even with that training he is given his position only by the whims of the higher authority of the military.   And yet trained military officers have to submit to the higher authority of the untrained President.


The day the President leaves his office he loses his authority to lead both the nation and the military. So his leadership ability is tied to his office, it does not come from having a "presence ", or having extraordinary wisdom. He will find that the military that once jumped to obey his command the day before, will now consider his commands merely a suggestion. The power he had the day before to steer the great ship of state is now limited to a single vote and whatever change he can achieve with his popularity.


All authority comes from God the Father


Rom 13:1  Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

Rom 13:2  Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.


Col 1:16  For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:


Kings, rulers, judges receive their authority from God


Pro 8:15  By me kings reign, and princes decree justice.

Pro 8:16  By me princes rule, and nobles, even all the judges of the earth.

Dan 2:21  And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:


Pastors receive their authority to be a leader of their church from God.


Act 20:28  Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.


  • Christ's authority came directly from God.


Christ did not claim that His authority came from any action on His part. He claimed that His authority was granted or authorized by the only Person who could give that authority, namely, God the Father.


Heb 2:8 Thou hast put all things in subjection under his feet. For in that he put all in subjection under him, he left nothing [that is] not put under him. But now we see not yet all things put under him.

Jn 5:26-27 For as the Father hath life in himself; so hath he given to the Son to have life in himself;  And hath given him authority to execute judgment also, because he is the Son of man.

Mt 17:5 While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.

Acts 2:36, Col 1:18, 1Pet 3:22,  Jn 5:36-37


  • He demonstrated that God Himself had given Him the authority to be a leader by fulfilling old testament prophecy.


Acts 2:22 Ye men of Israel, hear these words; Jesus of Nazareth, a man approved of God among you by miracles and wonders and signs, which God did by him in the midst of you, as ye yourselves also know:

Joh 14:11 Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works' sake.

Jn 5:36,37, Lk 7:20-22


  • Nature accepted His authority.


Mat 8:27  But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!

Mt 14:25 And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.


  • His followers accepted His authority.


Mt 16:16 And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

Jn 1:49 Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel.

Jn 11:27 She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.

Jn 1:34 And I saw, and bare record that this is the Son of God.

Jn. 4:42,


  • Satan rejects Christ's authority.


Satan encourages the unsaved to rebel against Christ's authority, and he does not want you to recognize the authority that He has given to others.


2Co 4:4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

Jn 12:40


  • Unsaved leaders refused to accept the authority of Christ.


Most of the religious leaders of His day refused to accept the authority of Christ to be their leader, and by extension they were rejecting God's right to grant that authority.  But in no way did their refusal to submit to His authority hurt Christ.  Rather it could only result in them being in rebellion to the Father, damaging themselves.


Mark 11:27-28: And they come again to Jerusalem: and as he was walking in the temple, there come to him the chief priests, and the scribes, and the elders, And say unto him, By what authority doest thou these things? and who gave thee this authority to do these things?

Matthew 21:23


  • Christ had shown His God given authority since the beginning of His ministry by performing amazing miracles that were prophesied that the Messiah would perform in the old testament. 


All of those miracles were performed in plain sight of all the people as well as the religious leaders of His time. His greatest proof was His resurrection.


Jn 10:38 But if I do, though ye believe not me, believe the works: that ye may know, and believe, that the Father is in me, and I in him.

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