Chapter six - Marriage

 

First Corinthians chapter seven could be called the marriage chapter, it gives:

1. The reason for it.

2. The responsibilities you have when you are in this relationship.

3. It covers the benefits of marriage, just who should get married.

4. Those who would be better off not getting married.

5. It even covers the subject of divorce.

 

Why marry.

 

Here the apostle Paul states that when it comes to marriage, he personally would prefer to remain single.  He explains that the reason why he would prefer to remain single is that he wants to be able to devote all of his time and energy in service to God, and to not have to divert any of that time and energy on the responsibility that having a spouse brings. 

 

 1Co 7:32   But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

 

He also recommends that you too stay single, devoting all of your time and energy in service to God, as long as you do not have a problem with controlling your sexual urges. 

 

1 Corinthians 7:8-9  I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

 

The apostle gives just one reason why you should get married, and that is that you have difficulties with sexual temptations. Should you have those type of temptations, he would recommend that you get married, giving yourself a God sanctioned way to deal with the temptations that you face instead of exposing yourself to Satan and his oppression.

 

1Co 7:2  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Mt 19:10-12

 

Commitment in marriage.

 

When you get married you not only are seeking a path to deal with your own sexual temptations, you also are making a commitment to meet the sexual needs of your spouse. Giving both of you a God granted way to control your sexual urges.

 

1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

 

This commitment to meet the sexual needs of the person that you are marrying is made before God, and it is an actual contract known as a marriage contract.  This contract is originated by, and blessed by God, signed by you, witnessed by your pastor, your friends and family. God declared it to be for life.

 

Mar 10:9  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matt. 19:6

 

The definition of fraud is cheating someone out of something that rightfully belongs to another person.  As an example, if you offer to repair a roof for a certain price, you establish a contract, either verbal or written. And if you then receive the money to repair that roof, but fail to fix it, that is fraud. It really is called stealing or theft.

 

1 Cor 7:5:  Defraud ye not one the other, except [it be] with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

 

In this case, seeing how a person marries to avoid sexual fornication as found in verse two, and he or she is promising to be the one who will meet their partners sexual needs, that is the contact that you are making with your spouse. To then deny your spouse, your willingness to satisfy their sexual needs, that is the definition of fraud. That is cheating them of something that rightfully belongs to them, promised by you, and your failure to satisfy that contract is leading them to be directly tempted by Satan, leading to the desire for sexual sin.

 

Here the apostle Paul says that there is just one good reason to avoid meeting your spouse's sexual needs, and that is to temporarily take time to spend in fasting and prayer.  Now fasting is the abstinence of food for at least one day, or maybe more.  This is also not your normal type of prayer but the type Jesus told the disciples they needed to remove demons.

 

Mat 17:19  Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out?

Mat 17:21  Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

 

So to give my interpretation of this verse, it would state that any day that you eat food (i.e. You are not fasting), you should try to satisfy your spouse's sexual needs.  Refusing to try to meet your spouse's sexual needs daily will lead to direct Satanic temptation; "that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.".

 

This is one of the few places in Scripture that reveals that an inaction on your part will guarantee Satanic influence on someone else. This temptation may be removed temporarily by resisting Satan as found in James:

 

Jas 4:7  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

 

But that escape from temptation will be very temporary, and until marital relations are restored, you, or your spouse will still have unfulfilled desires pressuring his thoughts.

 

What should a person do if his spouse refuses to meet his physical needs?  He has to turn it over to God. If one spouse defrauds the other, God says that He will provide the discipline.

 

1Th 4:6  That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.

 

Your spouse will be in rebellion to God, should she defraud her marriage vow, so He will handle the discipline.

 

I believe that many Christians are defrauding their spouses, as seen by the surge of adultery and the explosion of porn, even among the leadership of the church. Should marital relations be maintained daily between the spouses as God has directed, it would greatly reduce, or in most cases eliminate sexual sins in the church.

 

Wives as help meets.

 

My belief is that God has not only given your husband the authority of leadership in the family but He will equip your husband with the ability to be the leader of you and your family, and He will use you in that process if you will allow it. Likewise God created and equipped women as help-meets, the one who will assist him in his Christian growth.  You are created and gifted to help him in areas that he is deficient in.

 

Gen 2:18:  And the Lord God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

 

The wife was created to meet all of the needs of the husband, mentally, physically and sexually.

 

• Mentally,

 

Many husbands have demanding, stressful jobs, and to have someone to whom he can completely relax with, who is seeking to build him up, is like an oasis for the mind.

 

• Physically,

 

Long walks, long talks.

 

• Sexually,

 

Pro 27:20 Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.

 

Your husband, like most men, has eyes that are never satisfied, and he needs your help to meet that need.  If you don't meet that need for him, he will eventually try fill it some other way. If you don’t fill his eyes he  will fill them  either through porn or he will find other women who are willing to meet his needs.

 

Pro 5:18-19  Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

 

You are to be there to let your body satisfy his physical needs, your breasts have to be available to him “at all times”, to be able to satisfy him, and your love is to "ravish him"